Gaining

I never felt the shame as acutely I guess. Maybe part of growing up fat? I dunno.

I've known ridicule on account of my size but it's never incited anything other than anger from me. (Perhaps because even as a young child I knew I liked the way I felt? Again, not sure.)

As for having humiliation and shame twined up in the eroticism, not so much. A little light teasing is alright but not heavy ridicule (or names like pig or hog). That's more likely to make me angry than turn me on.

Ambivalence is an aphrodesiac in weight gain circles. So shame is a double-edged sword for many. It feels good and bad at the same time.

I was heavy as an adolescent and teen, gained in college as well. I remember being teased a bit about my weight, but I don't really recall feeling shame. Not that I was really fat, just overweight. Even back then I "tingles" (for lack of a better term) for the fetish of wanting to gain and be fat. Today, as I deliberately gain, but fairly slowly and do worry about "what people will say". Though it is obvious that I have put on weight, my wife has said nothing and in fact seems to have become a subtle encourager, which I have been, as she is a BBW. My age (>60) also becomes an excuse to gain as well, as older people tend to be heavier than younger ones, at least that's the way I feel. Take heart, don't be ashamed of your body, no matter skinny or obese.